In memory of my late grandmother

My maternal grandmother, who was 94 years of age, passed away in our family home at Nibong Tebal in the early morning of 17 December 2015.

I received a call from Lai Sim just the night before, alerting me to her high blood sugar and leg swelling with cough/breathlessness. I felt that her symptoms might be related to heart failure, and had advised Lai Sim to get grandmother checked by family doctor the next day. I did not expect my grandmother to leave us so suddenly the next morning.

My grandmother had been staying with us in our family home in Nibong Tebal since I was in primary school. Before that, she stayed with my maternal aunties in a rented house located just one street behind our house. After my aunties got married, she stayed briefly in Alor Star and Penang at my older uncle 大舅's and 4th Auntie 四姨's places respectivel; but her main base was still at our home in Nibong Tebal.

She was born and bred in Nibong Tebal. All her friends and gambling kakis are in Nibong Tebal. She liked the place very much. Hence, it was no surprise that she wished for the funeral to be held there when the time came.

I could never understand why - but she was not in talking terms with my grandfather as far as I could recall. My maternal grandfather stayed with his eldest son (my eldest uncle) in Alor Star. Hence, both my grandparents hardly met each other (unless my grandmother went to visit Alor Star, or my grandfather came over to Nibong Tebal for a short stay). Even when their paths clashed, they never talked to each other.

My grandmother was only a few years older than my father (not more that 10 years difference). She took care of herself very well and looked much younger than her actual age. Hence, there were times strangers had mistaken her as my father's wife!

I was one of the favourite grandsons (I don't think it is an exaggeration). She made sure that I was fed well during my early childhood days (my mother was helping out at my father's food stall). I still have fond memories of her brewing tonics such as 猪脑， 燕窝 for me.

After I went off to Singapore (pre-U till my graduation from medical school), and then away in US for 3 years (for my medical training), her memory of me gradually faded (particularly after my 3 years' absence). When I met up with her in an old folk home in Penang in year 2000, she could not recognise or remember me anymore. (She was bedridden and could talk in very soft and muddled words). She could still remember my other siblings though! (What a tragedy for me!) She moved in to stay at our family home some time after 2000. She was frail but was still quite alert, and able to consume blended food reasonably well (needed to be fed by maid).

The wake was held for 5 days in accordance with Buddhist rituals. It was quiet and solemn ritual, with three nights of chanting of Buddhist mantras (and not the elaborate Taosist rituals commonly employed by local residents).

Family members from near and far bid her a final farewell on 21 December. We will always remember her!